memories

Arlington, Virginia — 1973

September 21, 2018 by Brian Toale Leave a Comment

A part of my story I have not yet told, and which you may be about to read, was much harder to write about than what I have always considered to be the “real” sexual abuse chapter of my life. This was only a single encounter, and I remember very, very little of the details. Although I can reconstruct the events that led up to it, the few memories and vague impressions that remain can only help me surmise what happened. However, knowing what I now know about predators, I have a pretty good idea.

Please allow me to fill in the background first?

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Public Protection and General Government (PPG) Joint Budget Hearing on 01/30/2018

January 28, 2018 by Brian Toale Leave a Comment

1971 yearbook picture — *1971 Chaminade Yearbook picture*

Thank you, Chairpersons Senator Cathy Young and Assembly Member Helene Weinstein for this opportunity to be heard.

My name is Brian Toale, I am 64 years old and live in New York City. I grew up in Nassau County, on Long Island. At the start of my senior year in high school, I was skillfully groomed, manipulated with a dare and ultimately maneuvered into being sexually abused by a school appointed moderator of an extra-curricular club I belonged to. His name was Frank Lind. The abuse lasted until I graduated, 9 months later. My abuser routinely took Polaroid photographs and used them to methodically escalate sexual acts. He controlled me by threatening to expose them to my friends, classmates and worst of all my family who would not only be ashamed of me but shamed themselves.

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It gets better, but never truly ends.

November 16, 2017 by Brian Toale Leave a Comment

As happens every few years or so, my wife feels the “need” to repaint a room in our apartment, which means it’s time for a project that goes way beyond painting the walls. Starting with finding the right color, it can’t be considered done until everything in the room and on the walls is in harmony. Rugs, throws, pillows, pictures and anything else that might conflict is at risk of replacement.

The final step, and my favorite (not just because it’s the last one) is choosing photos to hang on the walls. We like to use our own pictures from vacation or some unusual scene from our NYC neighborhood. It’s the fun part as I am especially proud of my photographic skills (the skill is taking enough pictures to find some good ones) and love to point out to guests that the pictures on the walls are mine.

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